Is The Church Hurting Without You?
Navigating Church Hurt as God's People
Church hurt is a deeply personal and often isolating experience that many Christians—whether church staff, volunteers, or members—grapple with in silence. Perhaps you’ve found yourself feeling rejected, mistreated, or even abused by those you expected to care for you within the church. Maybe you’re hesitant to engage with the Church because of lingering wounds from broken relationships or leadership failures. While stepping away may seem the easiest or the only way to find peace, consider this truth: God’s Church is hurting without you.
Perspective: A New Covenant
God created the Church as His instrument for connection, teaching, growth, and Gospel proclamation. In the New Testament, we see that the Church is meant to be a place of restoration and a place of encouragement where we, “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV). Christopher Morgan, from the Gospel Coalition, says this about the church:
“It is the new covenant community of Jesus, rooted in Israel, constructed by Jesus, and inaugurated by the Holy Spirit. The church is the people of God, chosen by the Father, and graciously brought into a relationship with the triune God and one another. The church is the redeemed communion of saints, bought by the blood of Christ, universal and invisible, incorporating all believers throughout all ages—those on earth and those in heaven.” -The Gospel Coalition
While people within the Church are flawed and imperfect, the purpose remains clear: we cannot walk through life alone, nor can we be lone-ranger Christians. Yet, the reality of church hurt cannot be ignored. Leadership flaws, miscommunication, and even manipulation can deeply wound those who serve or worship. These hurts are real and painful, and while it’s understandable to distance oneself after being wounded, God still intends for us to heal and thrive within His Church. When we experience hurt within the very place where we should find safety, it can feel almost impossible to trust again.
Walking Through Church Hurt with a Redemptive Perspective
Redemption is the story of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For those who have faced hurtful experiences, the question remains: How do we heal in a way that honors both God and ourselves? Josh Moody, in a Desiring God article, poignantly remarks,
“Some people are hurt through their own mistakes, others because of sin committed against them, and still others because of failed leadership. This reality can leave them reluctant to re-engage, afraid of being hurt again, wanting to protect themselves, and questioning the place of the church in their lives.” -Desiring God
These feelings are common, and they are not without merit. However, just as Christ calls us to forgive and extend grace, He also invites us to find healing within His body.
Returning to church after experiencing hurt doesn’t mean overlooking past pain or allowing ourselves to be mistreated, but it does mean allowing God to restore and redeem our experiences. Colossians 3:13 encourages us to be “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive”. Embracing forgiveness can be a difficult but necessary step in healing, allowing us to open our hearts to restoration.
Your Role in God’s Design
Paul likens the Church to a body, emphasizing that each member has a purpose and contributes to the whole (1 Corinthians 12:12-27). When one member of the body is absent, the Church suffers. Your gifts, talents, and experiences—even your pain—are part of God’s plan for His Church. Leaving the Church because of past hurt is understandable, but it leaves a gap that no one else can fill in quite the same way. By re-engaging with a Christ-centered, loving community, you allow God to use your pain for growth and strength. This is part of the refinement process that God puts us through. Staying distant because of fear or bitterness only perpetuates isolation and leaves the Church body weakened.
The Power of Community
The local church isn’t perfect—it’s made up of fallible, broken people who, like you, need grace. The Bible reminds us of this brokenness but also the calling to unity. In Ephesians 4:1-3, Paul urges believers to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Walking through church hurt with humility, forgiveness, and patience requires courage, but it also paves the way for healing.
Returning to Church for Healing and Purpose
If you’ve felt the sting of church hurt, you’re not alone. Jesus is familiar with betrayal and hurt (John 13:21), and He understands what it means to be let down by those close to Him. Even in His most difficult moments, He pressed into His purpose with love and forgiveness. We know that pain in our broken world is inevitable, isolation doesn’t have to be.
Church hurt doesn’t have to be the end of your journey with God’s people. In returning to the Church, you bring your story, your gifts, and a unique perspective that strengthens and encourages others. The Church needs people who have walked through suffering and emerged with compassion, empathy, and a deeper understanding of God’s love. And perhaps, as you return, you’ll find that the healing you sought is also what others around you need.
We are at War
We are all in the midst of a spiritual war, and some of our world is on the wrong team. Scripture tells us that “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12, ESV). Satan, our adversary, actively seeks to kill, steal, and destroy, and he will use any means necessary to keep us discouraged, divided, and disconnected from the Church, God’s appointed instrument of the Gospel.
King Jesus is coming to claim His victory, and we are in a life-or-death spiritual battle until that day. The stakes are high, and time is running out. Christ commissioned His Church as the primary vessel for spreading the good news of salvation. The Church is God’s plan for proclaiming the Gospel, making disciples, and shining His light in a world that desperately needs Him (Matthew 28:18-20). When we, as believers, pull away from the Church because of pain or disappointment, the Church—and the mission—suffers. This calling is urgent. We cannot afford to be passive or detached. Every believer has a role to play in the unfolding story of redemption, and we need each other in this battle.
God has created you for a purpose. Through your presence, prayers, and gifts, you are helping to strengthen the body of Christ and to wage this war effectively. The world is watching, and the stakes couldn’t be higher. We are called to stand firm in our faith, knowing that “the Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress” (Psalm 46:7). The Church needs you, and in this time of spiritual urgency, we must remain united, unwavering, and committed to advancing the Gospel.
If you are someone who is considering leaving the Church or has already left the Church, make no mistake- you are walking out on Jesus as well.
“So the choice of Jesus over church implies a choice of your opinion over the Bible, because the Bible is where we meet Jesus. You can’t make Jesus up. You can’t make him up. He is the Jesus of the Bible or he is the Jesus of your imagination. If he is the Jesus of the Bible, you take the whole Jesus. You can’t carve him up in pieces. And the whole Jesus is the Jesus who loves the church. He died for the church.” - John Piper
To love Christ completely is to love His bride, the Church (Ephesians 5). The bride of Christ is not perfect, because you, the very person reading this now are not perfect. We need to learn to love the imperfect bride of Christ because we, as believers, are His bride. You are the Church. Christ loved us in our sinful imperfect state. Should we not love the Church the same way?
